Crisis of Infinite Narutos
by MCXCI
Summary: This is a story about a collection of worlds. All of them are nearly identical, except for one variable.
1. The Question

This is just a silly idea I had a while ago, but I found that the more I thought about it the more I wanted to write it. Please bear in mind that I am a _very _inexperienced writer, so these will all probably range somewhere between mediocre and terrible.

Disclaimer: I, of course, do not own Naruto. I also don't own any of the DC characters appearing or mentioned in this story.

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1. The Question

It was late at night and Sasuke was heading to bed when he heard a loud bang coming from outside. Immediately on alert, he rushed to his window and peered through the blinds into the darkness. For most other people it would have been next to impossible to make anything out, but with his Sharingan he was able to spot what was clearly a person outside his home. Sasuke felt his heartbeat quicken. Who was that out there, and why was he sneaking around the Uchiha district in the middle of the night? Was he a thief? Or had he come to kidnap him and take his dōjutsu? Steeling himself for what could be a difficult fight, he pulled his window open and slipped silently into the night.

It was unseasonably cold that night and Sasuke had to suppress a shudder as his bare feet landed on the frigid ground. He crouched and began to sneak to where he could hear the faint sound of rustling and footsteps. With his Sharingan active, he quickly and easily spotted the intruder. The person (Sasuke guessed that he was a male, though it was difficult to be certain) wore a long, blue coat, and a strange type of hat that Sasuke had never seen before.

He was facing away from Sasuke, and to Sasuke's horror he saw that the intruder was rooting through his garbage can. What sort of filthy degenerate went through other people's trash like that? If he had rooted through a public dumpster that would've been bad enough, but to do it so blatantly outside of his home? He decided then that he had seen enough and, kunai at the ready, began creeping up on him.

The intruder continued to pick his way through Sasuke's garbage, seeming not to notice that he was in any danger. He was just starting to examine some used bandages from a training accident when Sasuke leapt on top of him. He shrieked as he fell, knocking over the garbage can and strewing half eaten rotten food across the ground. Sasuke pinned him to the ground, one hand twisting his arm behind his back, and the other holding a kunai at his throat.

"Alright," he growled, "tell me who you are, and what you were doing going through my garbage."

To Sasuke's immense surprise, he felt the person beneath him relax.

"Oh, it's you. Hi Sasuke," the reply came in a familiar voice.

"Naruto? Is that you?"

"Yeah, it is, so could you let me go? My arm's starting to feel numb."

Sasuke debated with himself over whether he should grant that request, or just slit the boy's throat anyway. Finally, with an aggravated sigh, he pushed himself off Naruto and stood up. Naruto pushed himself up and, still facing away from Sasuke, began rubbing his sore arm.

"You didn't have to be so rough, you know," he complained. "You damn near dislocated my elbow."

"Good," Sasuke retorted angrily, and grabbed Naruto's shoulder to turn him around. "Now you are going to tell what the fuck you were doing in-" Sasuke's word's froze in his throat as he got a look at Naruto's face, or rather his lack thereof.

"Naruto?"

"Yeah, Sasuke?"

"What happened to your face?"

"Oh uh..." Naruto sheepishly rubbed the back of his head, tilting his hat askew. "Well, y'see I tried shaving without any shaving cream, and it didn't turn out so well."

Sasuke stared at him for a moment.

"You were shaving."

"Yes."

"Without any shaving cream."

"Mmm hmm."

"And you cut your entire face off."

"Yup!" Naruto nodded his head. "Yeah they never warned me about that. I just put the razor to my face and the whole damn thing started peeling off!"

Sasuke let out another sigh and pinched the bridge of his nose. Naruto had always been irritating, but this was taking things to a new high.

"Alright, whatever. Just explain what you were doing going through my trash," he said, trying to keep his temper under control.

"I go through everyone's trash," Naruto shrugged.

"What? Why?"

Naruto looked from side to side, and made sure that they weren't being watched before leaning forward and cupping his hand where his mouth would be.

"I'm looking for answers," he whispered.

"Answers? What kind of answers are you-"

"Shh! Don't let them hear you!" Naruto hissed.

"What?" Sasuke was now seriously considering beating Naruto until he was unconscious and leaving him in an alley somewhere.

"You have to be careful, you know," Naruto replied, keeping his voice low. "It's _dangerous _for someone like me, seeking the truth. If _they_ find out I'm on to them they'll have me killed for sure."

"Okay..." Sasuke was beginning to feel uneasy. This was not normal behavior for Naruto. "Who are 'they?'"

"The secret cabal that's been ruling the world since the days of the Rikudō Sennin."

Sasuke's jaw went slack. Whatever answer he had been expecting, that had certainly not been it. He briefly, very briefly, considered inquiring further, but decided that it just wasn't worth it. He was tired, and this whole thing had simply been too strange for him. He didn't know what had come over Naruto all of a sudden, but he was sure that it wasn't anything he wanted to get involved with.

"Sasuke?" Naruto was beginning to feel uncomfortable at the way Sasuke was staring at him as if he'd grown a second head.

"Just get the hell out of here," he responded. "And don't ever do this again, or I swear I really will cut your throat."

Naruto just stared, and Sasuke couldn't tell if his words had gotten through to him. After a moment, Naruto turned and started whistling tunelessly as he strolled away. Sasuke felt his shoulders slump and he let out a third sigh. Had that really just happened? If he didn't know any better he'd swear that he'd been dreaming, or under the influence of an extremely twisted genjutsu. He decided then that it was probably for the best if he didn't put too much thought into it. It was very likely that this was just a prank, or some bizarre plan of Naruto's to get attention.

He looked down at the garbage scattered across the ground and grit his teeth in annoyance. As he bent over to clean up the mess Naruto had left, he resolved to land at least one solid kick to Naruto's groin the next time they sparred.

000

Naruto could see the signs of it everywhere. In newspapers, on the labels of milk cartons, even on the one hundred ryō note. Their evil tentacles had wormed their way into every corner and crevice of society. Sometimes the signs were so obvious that he wondered if they were taunting him. Just the other day he'd sneaked a copy of _Icha Icha_ _Violence _out of a bookstore and was about halfway through when he had spotted it. The book had mentioned a "sordid love tesseract" and he knew immediately that it was a sign.

Tesseract, a four-dimensional shape. He'd known for years about the four-dimensional hyper-beings that had arrived on the planet eons ago. It was even likely that the Rikudō Sennin himself was one of them. Based on his findings, he knew at least three of _them _were also such beings. So it became clear to him that the book's author, Jiraiya of the Sannin, was in on it. One of the Sannin, the current Hokage's student. Naruto knew then that all of Konoha was likely under their grip.

He sighed to himself as he walked to Team Seven's assigned meeting spot. It wasn't easy, uncovering the truth. Peeling back the lies, the obscene falsehoods, had tested his sanity time and time again. There had been plenty of occasions when he wanted to forget all about his startling revelations, to go back to being one of the happy sheep that populated the village. But he knew that he couldn't shirk his responsibility. Someone had to find all the answers.

He made a left turn, and began following the trail into Training Ground Three. They'd been informed by Kakashi-sensei the day before that there would be no missions assigned to them on this particular day. So they would spend all of their allotted time on training. Naruto didn't know what exactly they would be focusing on today, but he hoped that it didn't have anything to do with genjutsu. He felt that his life was already filled with enough illusions and falsehoods. He really didn't need any more inflicted on him by his own sensei.

He didn't have to walk much longer before Sakura and Sasuke (_Sakura and Sasuke, why do both of their names start with an "S?" Must investigate further._) came into view. Sasuke was sitting up in a tree branch, his back against the trunk. Sakura, meanwhile, was leaning against the tree beneath him. They both noticed Naruto approaching at the same time, and looked up. Sasuke merely glared at him for a second upon noticing that he was still dressed in those odd clothes. Sakura, however, openly gaped at him in complete and utter shock.

"N-Naruto? Is that you?" she asked after a moment.

"Um, yeah, it is. Don't you recognize me, Sakura?" Naruto replied, confused.

"No! No, I don't recognize you! What happened to your clothes? What happened to your _face!?_"

"Oh, well, I overdosed on acne medication," he chuckled, "As for the clothes, well, I always wear these. Jeez Sakura, didjya forget or somethin'?"

Sakura was stupefied. "I- you- what-"

"Wait a minute," Sasuke interrupted, "you told me it was because you were shaving."

Naruto began fidgeting. "Well, y'see-"

"Wait, you mean you knew about this?" Sakura looked up at Sasuke. "How long has he been like this?"

Sasuke shrugged. "Since last night, at least."

"Last night?"

"Yeah, caught him going through my trash."

"What!? _Naruto!_" Sakura turned, outrage evident on her face. Naruto felt a chill run down his spine, and he instinctively took a step back.

"Wait, I can expl-" Naruto didn't get to finish his sentence before a fist collided with the top of his head, flattening his hat and making his knees buckle.

"_Sakuraaa!_" he whined, yanking his hat off and clutching at his aching skull.

"You idiot!" Sakura seethed at him. "What the hell did you think you were doing, going through Sasuke's trash like that!?"

Naruto continued rubbing his head for a moment, before casting a forlorn gaze at his crumpled hat.

"See, look what you did!" He cried indignantly, holding it out to her. "You ruined it!"

"I don't care about your stupid hat!" she retorted. "You can't just go through people's garbage!"

"But I was investigating," he protested, "I had to find out if Sasuke was in on it."

"I-what?" Naruto's strange statement threw her off track. Above them, Sasuke sighed and shook his head. He was not looking forward to this.

"You know," Naruto said, in a hushed tone, "the _conspiracy._"

"Okay... What conspiracy would that be?" Sakura felt confusion, and just a hint of dread, bubble up within her.

"You don't know, Sakura?" Naruto shook his head. "I thought you were supposed to be the smart one here."

"And what does that mean?" Sakura felt her blood begin to boil once more.

"Well, it's just that I was able to figure it out, so I thought it would be obvious to you," Naruto replied cautiously.

"Figure what out?" Sakura demanded.

"That there's a hidden group of people controlling the world," Naruto stated in a matter-of-fact tone.

Sakura stared at him for a moment. "Wh-What?"

"Yeah, they've been at it for centuries. Did you really not notice? You can see the signs of it everywhere, you know."

Sakura opened her mouth to speak, but then closed it. She turned and glanced up at Sasuke who merely shrugged.

"Don't ask me," he said, "I want no part of this."

She turned back to Naruto, and after a moment gave him what she hoped was a placating smile. She didn't know what had come over Naruto, but clearly he was mentally unstable.

"Alright," she asked him in the kindest voice she could muster, "do you want to tell me what some of those signs are?"

"Well, there's the coded messages in pop songs, the hidden instructions on the backs of cereal boxes, the mind control serum in tap water, and a bunch more stuff. I have notes, if you want to look at them." Naruto reached into his trench coat and pulled out a thick notebook. He held it out to Sakura, who took it tentatively.

The book's cover was worn, but blank, and some of its pages stuck out as if they'd been torn out before being stuffed back in. Sakura carefully opened it, and began reading. As she did, she quickly realized that she was staring into the face of madness. Partially finished sentences, bizarre symbols, and cryptic phrases were etched wildly into every corner of the pages. On one page it seemed that Naruto had taken the first letter of every newspaper in Konoha and arranged them in different ways to see if they formed a message. On another there were torn out passages from books with certain phrases highlighted.

None of it made the slightest amount of sense, and Sakura knew then that her teammate had gone completely insane.

"Well?" Naruto asked, making her jump slightly. "What do you think?"

"Um, yeah this is... It's really something," she answered, trying to keep her tone level. "Hey, could you go stand over there for a moment?" She pointed at a distant boulder. "I need to talk to Sasuke."

"Oh, uh, sure," he said, and with a quick wave, began walking away.

"We have a problem," Sakura said to Sasuke as soon as Naruto was out of earshot, "Naruto has lost his mind."

Sasuke smirked. "You mean he had one to begin with?"

"This is serious!" she admonished. "I think there's really something wrong with him."

"Oh, come on," he rolled his eyes, "Naruto's always doing stupid shit for attention, just ignore him."

Sakura shook her head, "No, I don't think this is just a prank. Here, look at this," she handed the notebook up to Sasuke. He let out a sigh through his nose before, reluctantly, taking it.

He read for a few moments, and Sakura saw his brow begin to crease. Finally, he snapped the book shut.

"Yeah alright," he said in a low voice. "I see your point."

"So what do we do?" she asked.

He shook his head. "Nothing for us to do. We'll just have to wait until Kakashi-sensei gets here, and tell him. He'll know how to handle this."

000

Sasuke and Sakura spent the rest of their time waiting in silence. Naruto, however, kept humming the tune of a song they had never heard before. He'd been at it since Sakura had waved him back over, but neither of them wanted to say anything to him about it. So they sat, both of them too wary of Naruto to speak. Finally, mercifully, Kakashi appeared in front of then in a cloud of smoke.

"Yo," he gave a small wave, "Sorry I'm late. I was-" he froze as he noticed Naruto. "Alright Naruto, what are you doing?" he asked after a brief pause.

"Eh?" Naruto tilted his head, "I'm not doing anything, Kakashi-sensei."

"Yes, yes you are," Kakashi countered, "You're wearing those ridiculous clothes. Also, what happened to your face?"

"Hey! My clothes aren't ridiculous! And as for my face, well, I cut myself shaving."

"You cut yourself shaving," Kakashi repeated, taken slightly aback at how absurd of a lie that was. "You're telling me that you cut off your whole face while you were shaving."

"Yes."

Kakashi gave a soft sigh. "Naruto, you're not even old enough to shave."

W-Well, the thing is-" Naruto stammered.

"You're wearing a mask, aren't you."

"Um, no..."

"Kakashi-sensei," Sakura interrupted. "You should look at this. We think something's wrong with Naruto." She held out the notebook. Kakashi took it and flipped it open. He read it silently, his single exposed eye betraying no hint of any emotion.

"Well," he said, not looking away from the page, "I'll give you credit, Naruto. You've pulled a lot of stupid stunts since we became a team, but you've never put quite this much work into it before."

Naruto was deeply offended. "Stunt? It's not a stunt! That book represents years of effort uncovering the truth!"

"See, this is what I mean, sensei, he's gone crazy," Sakura said to Kakashi.

"Crazy? You think I'm crazy, Sakura?" If Naruto hadn't been wearing that strange mask of his, Sakura was sure that it would've been easy to see the hurt and betrayal written on his face. She felt vaguely guilty about this, even though she knew she was right.

"Okay, then," Kakashi was starting to feel a bit unnerved by Naruto's behavior. "Sakura, Sasuke, why don't you two go wait by that tree over there. I need to speak with Naruto."

He stood and waited as they both made their way toward the tree he had pointed out. His one visible eye was trained on his apparently insane student. Naruto fidgeted uncomfortably under his gaze

"Now," Kakashi said, once he was sure they were beyond hearing range. "What happened to you?"

"Nothing happened to me, I just decided that I needed to discover the truth," Naruto answered.

"The truth?" Kakashi's lone eyebrow rose slightly.

"Yeah, the truth about who _really_ runs the world."

Kakashi was silent for a few moments as he digested what Naruto had said, before finally asking, "And who is it that really runs the world?"

"A secret cabal of mystics, immortals, and beings from another world who all gathered centuries ago to take control of the planet. Most people like to pretend that they don't exist, which only aids their success," Naruto explained, glad that someone was finally interested in seeing past the lies.

Kakashi, just stood there, blinking at him. It was the first time in a long while that he'd been so utterly stunned like this. Eventually he composed himself and asked, "So how do you know all this?"

"It's easy, if you know what you're looking for," Naruto replied. "There's probably evidence of it right here in front of us."

Kakashi was, of course, skeptical. "Really? Then why don't you show me?"

"Alright!" Naruto replied enthusiastically, before glancing around the clearing. His eyes scanned the trees, the rocks, even the grass, before finally settling on his own feet. He stared, scrutinizing his feet, his eyes briefly flicking between his own feet and Kakashi's. Finally, he nodded to himself, and then met his sensei's gaze.

"Shoes," he stated.

"Shoes. Your evidence is shoes," Kakashi's tone had gone completely flat.

"Yes. Think about it. Why do we have shoes that cover every part of our feet except for the toes?"

"Well, they're really more like sandals," Kakashi answered.

"But that doesn't make sense!" Naruto was insistent. "We're supposed to be shinobi, soldiers! We should be able to fight anywhere, in any climate. So why do we have shoes that don't even fully protect our feet?"

"Well," Kakashi argued, "they do provide flexibility and mobility."

"Alright, maybe you've got a point there, but then why not give us a choice? Have you ever seen shoes that fully cover a person's foot?"

Kakashi was about to respond when it occurred to him that he _hadn't. _In fact, every single pair of shoes he'd ever encountered in his life had been of the toeless variety. He was loathe to admit it, but this realization left an unpleasant feeling in his guts.

"See?" Naruto took Kakashi's silence as a sign of agreement. "It doesn't make sense, not unless someone wanted us to go with bare toes."

"Who could possibly care about something like that?" Kakashi retorted.

"Who indeed," Naruto said before reaching down to pull of his shoes.

"What are you doing?" Kakashi asked.

"I'm not gonna let them control me," Naruto replied. "They've had their leash on me the whole time and I didn't even realize. Clever, clever."

"But that goes against your logic, Naruto," he protested. "Now your feet are going to be even more exposed."

Naruto paused, his shoe halfway off of his foot. He looked up and stared at Kakashi with his blank face, before responding in the fiercest tone Kakashi had heard in years.

"At least I'll be _free._"

Kakashi just stood there as Naruto finished removing his shoes, and began marching over to his two other teammates. Then, after a few moments, he simply gave a slight shrug. Naruto was completely insane, that much was certain, but really that was no big deal. It was a well-known fact that most, if not all, shinobi harbored a mental illness of some kind. Kakashi would be lying if he said that Naruto was even the tenth craziest person he'd ever seen. As long as Naruto didn't hurt anyone, and kept doing adequately on missions, it was really none of his business.

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AN: Well, I'm almost certain that I flubbed The Question's character. In my defense, I was mostly going off of JLU's "Crazy Conspiracy Theorist," version of the character. It's just more fun that way.


	2. Superman

I have to admit that I enjoyed writing this chapter more than the last one. With the last one I sort of had trouble figuring out what to do with it. But this one sort of fell into place on it's own.

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2. Superman

Naruto loved flying. He loved the feel of the air rushing through his hair. He loved the feeling of freedom he got from racing through the skies above Konoha. He loved hearing the awed gasps of people below as he swooped down and waved hello to random pedestrians. What he loved most, however, was rocketing high into the air and gazing down at the world below him. Indeed, flying had surpassed even ramen as his favorite thing in the world.

So it was no surprise that he had decided to fly to meet his team, going at a leisurely pace even though he could be there in seconds. In fact he could be anywhere on the planet in less than half a minute, but where was the fun in that? Better to take things slow, enjoy the sights and sounds of the village beneath him. And there were a lot of sights and sounds to enjoy, far more than most people would believe possible. He could hear the voice of every person for thousands of miles, and see every mote of dust that floated through the air. It was almost overwhelming, but he was used to it by now.

Naruto focused his hearing in on two familiar voices. Sakura and Sasuke had already arrived outside the Academy, while Kakashi-sensei was, of course, nowhere nearby. He could hear Sakura's awkward attempts at starting a conversation.

"So, looks like Naruto's late."

"Hn."

"What do you think's taking him so long?"

Sasuke gave no audible response, and Naruto guessed that he'd given only a shrug in reply.

Naruto sighed as the Academy came into view. Everyday it was the same. Sakura would try to talk to Sasuke, and get almost nothing in response. He didn't know why she kept trying; talking to Sasuke was about as fun as talking to a rock, only the rock usually had a better personality. He stopped in midair as he spotted them outside of the Academy entrance. Naruto grinned to himself. This was always funny, no matter how many times he did it.

He would hover above someone, making sure that they didn't notice him, then he'd let himself drop. Depending on how high he was when he did it, sometimes he'd land with enough force to make the ground crack. Naruto was sure it would never get old, hearing the startled shouts and panicked screams as he crashed to the ground right in front of someone. So it was with a chuckle that Naruto floated up high above Sasuke and Sakura, before beginning his plummet to earth.

He rocketed down feet first, enjoying the rush of adrenaline as the ground rapidly closed in on him. He slammed into the ground, a small shock wave forming from the impact and kicking up a cloud of dirt around him.

"_Holy shit!_" Sakura screamed, her heart skipping a beat. Beside her, Sasuke had immediately jumped into a defensive posture, a kunai gripped in his hand.

"Hey, Sakura!" Naruto turned and waved with a wide grin on his face. "Sorry I'm late!"

"Wha-? Naruto? What did you-? _How_ did you-?" Sakura struggled to grasp what had just happened. Sasuke was silent, but just as confused as she was.

"I flew," was Naruto's reply. He said it like it was the most obvious thing in the world.

"You _flew?_" Sasuke was incredulous. Since when could Naruto fly?

"Well, yeah," Naruto answered, and to demonstrate he floated a few feet into the air. They both gaped at him. Sasuke even went so far as to activate his Sharingan, just to be sure that Naruto wasn't using a genjutsu on them. But no, he was actually flying.

"When the hell did you learn to fly?" Sasuke asked. He hadn't even known that it was possible to fly, and yet Naruto was doing it like it was no big deal.

"Um, well, I didn't really _learn_ it. I just sorta could one day, you know?" Naruto scratched the back of his head.

"What do you mean 'you just could?' How is this even-"

"Yo!" Kakashi called as he walked up to them, his nose buried in one of his books. "Sorry I'm late I-" he paused as he looked up and noticed one of his students levitating above the ground. "You're flying," he stated flatly.

"Yeah, I am," Naruto's tone was just as flat.

Kakashi didn't respond. He simply stared at Naruto, his single eye scrutinizing him.

"Erm, sensei," Sakura interjected after a moment. "Have you ever heard of someone being able to fly before?"

"Well," Kakashi rubbed his chin. "I do know that the Tsuchikage uses a jutsu that allows him to fly for brief periods of time, but you haven't ever been to Iwa, have you Naruto?" Naruto shook his head. "So, if I had to guess, I'd say that it must be a kekkei genkai. Congratulations, Naruto," Kakashi's eye closed as he smiled beneath his mask. "I haven't even heard of this one before, you're very lucky."

Sasuke crossed his arms and grunted in annoyance. It was just like the idiot to pull abilities out of nowhere and not even have any idea how he did it. As if his unnaturally massive chakra reserves weren't enough, now he was displaying what was apparently some super rare kekkei genkai! This whole thing was irritating Sasuke more than he'd like to admit.

"Alright," Kakashi interrupted Sasuke's thoughts. "Now that we've got that figured out, I guess I'd better tell you all why I brought you out here." He pulled out three slips of paper. "I've decided to enter you three in the Chūnin Exams."

000

"There's someone coming," Naruto said, suddenly on alert.

"From where?" Sasuke hadn't heard or seen anything, but he didn't want to take any chances.

"There," Naruto pointed to his left. "One person, coming towards us."

"Just one?" Sakura asked. "Not a whole team?"

Naruto shook his head. "Nope, only one guy."

"And how do you know all this?" Sasuke inquired. "I don't hear anything."

"I do," was Naruto's response, and then he was gone. He rocketed forward, kicking up a gust of wind strong enough to rattle the tree branches around him.

Sakura and Sasuke stood in place, stunned for a moment before rushing after him as quickly as they could. They jumped from tree to tree, following the trail of snapped branches that Naruto had left in his wake. It took only a couple of minutes before Naruto came into view, standing on a tree branch and facing away from them. As they caught up within him, Sasuke and Sakura saw that he had been right about hearing someone approaching.

On a tree branch in front of them was one of the Kusa-nin they had seen before entering the Forest. He wore a smug grin, and didn't seem at all bothered that he had just been caught. His eyes flicked between the three of them, and as they settled on Sasuke his grin turned to a predatory leer. Finally, he tilted his head back and chuckled. It was cold, dry, raspy laugh, and Naruto decided immediately that he hated it.

"Well, I must say that I am impressed. You must be quite talented to have noticed my approach," he said, still grinning. Naruto scowled at him, his eyes locked on to the Kusa-nin's face.

After a moment, Naruto lifted his arm and pointed at him. "You're wearing a disguise."

"My, but you are quite perceptive! If your eyes weren't so blue I might even think that you were a member of the Hyūga Clan," he reached up and peeled off the face he had stolen from the now dead Kusa-nin. Beneath the fleshy mask was a pale, narrow, almost serpentine face.

Sakura's blood turned to ice as she recognized the person before them. She had seen that face, and those yellow slitted eyes plenty of times in history books. The person in front of them was Orochimaru, one of the Sannin, and one of the most dangerous criminals Konoha had ever produced. She felt something dark and cold grip her heart as she realized that all three of them were about to die.

"Listen," she said to her teammates, struggling to even speak. "This is Orochimaru, he's an S-ranked missing-nin. We don't stand a chance against someone like him."

Orochimaru gave another laugh, the sound of it sending shivers down Sakura's spine. "You recognize me. I'm flattered."

His gaze flicked back and forth between Sasuke and Naruto. While the Uchiha was still his primary target, the boy in orange had proven to be surprisingly talented. For even a jōnin to have noticed his approach would have been impressive. The fact that a _genin_ had done not only that but had also seen through his Shōshagan set off alarm bells in his head. He would have to kill the boy quickly, lest he become a nuisance.

Naruto, however, was determined to be as much of a nuisance as possible.

"S-ranked criminal, eh? This shouldn't be a problem," his face split into a wide grin.

"Is that so?" Despite his trepidation, Orochimaru couldn't help but be amused by the boy's reckless arrogance. "And what is it that you think you ca-" a bolt of heat vision from Naruto interrupted him, piercing through his chest and scorching the bark of the tree behind him.

Orochimaru doubled over as sheer burning agony shot through him. What sort of jutsu had that been? There had been no hand signs, no sort of preparation, the boy hadn't even _moved, _and now there were two smoking holes in his chest.

Naruto hadn't bothered to press his advantage, instead he crossed his arms and returned the smug grin Orochimaru had worn earlier. He watched as the Sannin began to wheeze and cough, still bent over. At first Naruto thought the he might be hacking up blood, but then Orochimaru's jaw began to dislocate, and a hand reached up out of his throat. Orochimaru crawled out of his damaged body, shedding it, and letting fall off to the ground where it landed in a fleshy pile.

Naruto's nose wrinkled in disgust. "That's pretty freaking gross, you know."

Orochimaru rose to his feet as he forced his breath to even out. He shot Naruto the fiercest glare he could, which, coming from Orochimaru, was indeed quite fierce. He had intended to make boy's death a quick one, but after being humiliated like that Orochimaru wanted to make him suffer. He jumped, launching shuriken at Naruto as a distraction. He prepared to follow-up by summoning one of his most venomous snakes when the boy vanished before his eyes.

Before he could react, or even register that the boy had disappeared, an arm wrapped around his neck.

"Yeah, no," Naruto said, holding him up in midair. He spun Orochimaru around, and caught him by the front of his robes. He pulled his arm back, obviously preparing to throw a punch.

Orochimaru acted quickly, taking advantage of Naruto's slow, almost lazy build up. Two snakes shot out from his sleeves, each clamping down on the arm holding him. These two particular snakes had venom meant to deliver crippling pain to their victims, leaving even the most hardened shinobi completely helpless. However for this venom to be effective it had to reach a person's bloodstream, and to Orochimaru's horror he saw his snakes' fangs scrape uselessly against Naruto's skin.

Naruto simply smirked before launching his punch, releasing his hold on Orochimaru just before his fist connected with the Sannin's jaw. It hit with a thunderous crack, the sound of the impact echoing throughout the forest. Orochimaru was launched upwards, rocketing towards the sky at an impressive velocity.

Sakura and Sasuke stared in stunned silence as Orochimaru disappeared above the clouds.

"How did you-" Sakura began before Naruto held up a finger to quiet her.

"Hold that thought," he said, before shooting into the air after the Sannin.

He raced up through the atmosphere, a cone of condensation briefly appearing around him as he broke the sound barrier. He continued his upward climb until he was high enough to see the stars. Being at this altitude was always a strange experience for Naruto. He knew that at this high up breathing became impossible from the lack of air, yet for some reason this simply wasn't a problem for him. He mused briefly on why this might be before locating Orochimaru floating above the earth.

As Naruto closed in it became obvious that the former student of the Sandaime was dead. However strong the Sannin might have been, he certainly wasn't strong enough to survive being punched into the exosphere. Naruto regarded the newly deceased Orochimaru, and decided that it would be disrespectful to leave his corpse floating in space.

He thought for a moment, and concluded that the sun would be the best possible grave. To be perfectly frank, Naruto himself had always wanted to be launched into the Sun for his funeral. The only problem was that there didn't seem to be anyone else in the world capable of doing it once he was dead. It was with that thought in mind that he grabbed the dead Sannin by the ankle, spun him around, and threw him at the bright star shining above.

Naruto watched for a moment as the corpse zoomed through space toward the sun, before turning back to the world below him. He paused as the sight of the planet beneath him entranced him. He didn't go into space often, but when he did he always made sure to spend a few moments gazing at the earth. The blue oceans, the varied landscapes of the continents, the swirling clouds, the way it all seemed to shimmer in the reflected sunlight, all of it dazzled him. It was a tremendous view, inexplicably made all the more beautiful by the fact that there was no one else who could share in it.

He soaked in the view for a few moments longer before shaking himself out of his enraptured stupor. As beautiful as the world was, he was still in the middle of an exam, and he was pretty sure that flying into space broke the rule about not leaving the forest. So, not wanted to be disqualified, he began his descent.

000

Sasuke was furious.

He had no idea how Naruto had gotten strong enough to not just defeat one of the Sannin, but to do so with only a single punch. He had never, _never_, seen someone hit that hard before. Punches like that shouldn't have even been possible. If he'd been told that someone had literally been punched into the sky, he would've believed it to have been a comical exaggeration. Yet he had seen it happen personally, and of all people it had been _Naruto _who had done it.

Just a few days ago Naruto could hardly hold his own in sparring sessions, but now here he was, effortlessly defeating one of the Sannin. It didn't make sense. A person's abilities shouldn't be able to increase that quickly. Had Naruto always been this talented? Had his all previous screw-ups just been some sort of joke? If that was the case, then Sasuke wasn't sure he'd ever be able to forgive Naruto for lying to them all this time.

He glanced over at Sakura, who was searching the sky for any sign of their teammate. She could find no trace of Naruto, not a hint of orange against the blue of the sky or the white of the clouds. Finally, she sighed and decided that it was a futile effort.

"Do you think he's alright?" she asked, turning to Sasuke.

"How should I know?" was his retort. To be honest, a small part of him wouldn't have really minded if in fact it turned out that Naruto wasn't. The last fifteen minutes had been quite a blow to his pride.

"It just doesn't make sense," Sakura echoed his thoughts. "How did he get that strong so quickly? How does a person go from being dead last to that?"

"Don't you get it?" Sasuke's temper was starting to rise. "He's been screwing with us the whole time. He was always that strong."

"But why? What would he possibly have to gain from hiding his abilites?" Sakura asked.

Sasuke was about to give his answer, when he caught a white streak headed towards them in his peripheral vision. He turned his head to the sky as Naruto closed in on them from above.

Naruto slowed his descent, coming to a graceful stop just as he reached the ground. He turned to his teammates and gave a small wave.

"Hey guys," he greeted them cheerfully. "Sorry that took so long."

"Um," Sakura began hesitantly. "What happened to Orochimaru?"

"Well, right now he should be about halfway to the sun," Naruto replied with a grin.

Sakura was stunned by the answer. "The _s__u__n? _Is that supposed to be a joke?"

"Nope!" Naruto answered. "You see when I punched him he went up _really _high. Way up to where you can see the stars and there's no air. So, he died, and I thought 'Why not send him to the sun?' I mean it seems like a pretty cool way to be buried, and I thought it was the least I could do for him, you know?"

"Way up high, where there's no air and you can see the stars?" Sakura simply could not process what she was hearing. "Naruto, are you saying you punched him into _space?_"

Naruto scratched his head. "Is that what you call it? It's pretty cool up there, but it get's kinda boring after a while."

"Bullshit, _bullshit_," Sasuke's temper flared. "There's no way you can actually go to space. It's impossible, and you're lying."

"I'm not lying!" Naruto gave an angry retort. He took a step towards Sasuke. "I can take you there if you don't believe me."

"Wait, Naruto, don't," Sakura scolded. "I'm not sure you're telling the truth either, but _if_ you are, that would kill him."

"Fine, whatever," Naruto replied sullenly. "Not like I care what he thinks anyway."

Sasuke was getting sick of the ridiculous turn things had taken, and he wanted answers from Naruto.

"How did you do it?" he asked, trying, and failing to keep his bitterness out of his voice. "How did you get so strong? Where did all of this power come from all of a sudden?"

Naruto tilted his head as he considered the question. "I dunno really. Just sort happened one day."

"It just happened? No training, no lessons, _nothing_?" Sasuke was incredulous.

"Yeah, pretty much."

"Of course, that makes perfect sense. The idiot wakes up one day, and what do you know, he's a fucking super-nin!" Sasuke's tone was floating somewhere between sardonic and hysterical. He shook his head and turned away from Naruto, forcing his emotions down in an attempt to repair his stoic mask. At this point he just wanted the day to be over, and to forget that this had ever happened.

Naruto cast a puzzled glance at Sasuke, before shrugging and turning to Orochimaru's discarded body to rummage through it.

"Naruto, what are you doing?" Sakura, asked, her face scrunched up in disgust.

"We still need to find another scroll, you know," he replied.

He continued to dig through the deceased Sannin's old robes until he found a scroll identical to the one they had entered the forest with. He turned it over and found the kanji for earth inscribed on it.

"Yes, knew he had one," Naruto beamed triumphantly, and tucked the scroll into his orange jacket. "Alright, let's go!"

In flash he grabbed both of his teammates, wrapping his arms around their torsos. They both gave noises of surprise, and tried futilely to escape his inhumanly strong grip. Once he had them he kicked off of the ground, flying towards the tower in the center of the forest. Sasuke and Sakura immediately ceased struggling as the ground left them, and they both clung to Naruto from fear of falling.

"Naruto," he heard Sakura's shaky voice say to him. "You'd better not drop us, or I swear I'll come back as a ghost and haunt you."

Naruto chuckled in response. "Don't worry, I'd never drop you. Can't say the same you though, Sasuke."

The Uchiha didn't respond, a mixture of embarrassment and indignation forcing him into sullen silence.

The wind whipped through Naruto's hair, and the trees passed beneath them in a blur as the tower drew closer. The blond Kryptonian felt a warm contentedness envelop his heart. He had his friends with him, he was soaring through the air, and now he was well on his way to becoming a chūnin. Yes, Naruto did so love flying.

* * *

Shōshagan no Jutsu: Vanishing Facial Copy Technique. Basically a jutsu Orochimaru uses to rip someone's face off and wear it as a mask.

On an unrelated note, Orochimaru is one creepy, _creepy _mofo.


End file.
